The Unspoken Sin in Motherhood

Whitney Vallette   -  

“Does God really know what’s best for my child?” New and veteran mothers can attest that being a mom can be hard, especially when you first begin. You get this beautiful sweet baby and next thing you know you are at home with them putting your finger under their nose to make sure they are still breathing! Come on, I know I can’t be the only new mom to do this?! We worry and stress about everything. The poop: is it green? Is it yellow? Has she pooped today at all? “I need to see if she had as many wet diapers as she did yesterday!” Not to mention the anxiety around the baby’s weight gain: is it enough, too little? Too much? Man, those doctors know how to instill fear in our hearts. And it’s funny that I would say this and point the finger at the doctors. Why do THEY have to create so much fear in my heart? Why would THEY do this when my baby is just fine?  

It’s interesting how I look to others for the reason behind my fear, never even considering myself as the one to blame. Always spotting others’ faults and not my own. I couldn’t possibly be the reason, after all I am just trying to care for my child. But isn’t this how sin works in our lives? It uses the good, God- given things (my child’s well being) and creates an idol out of it. On the surface, yes, I am a mother doing her best to care for her child. If that means overly calculating wet diapers or constantly checking her temp or reviewing the next possible wonder- week leap, those can all be good things. But what’s really going on underneath the surface is a large layer of fear. Fear that I will do a bad job taking care of her. That I don’t know what’s best for her. Fear that my child will not be ok. And ultimately, fear that God is not who He says He is and will not care for her in the way that I see fit. I am idolizing her well-being! It grabs a hold of my mind, not to mention my heart, and shifts the focus to that and only that. I am so blinded by that fear I end up forgetting what God’s sovereignty and goodness looks like. 

This is why having gospel- centered relationships are so important. When we choose our friends wisely they can see through this victim mentality we create for ourselves as mothers and instead point us directly to the less obvious sin in our lives. Sin, like fear, anxiety, and distrust in who God is. Because in those moments as a mom, when your life is fully dependent on caring for this one person you have been entrusted with, guidance to reveal the scales that have been growing on your eyes is necessary. My mother-in-law did this for me. I still remember asking her questions about my daughter’s poop and sleep schedule, trying to figure out why it was different and what was wrong with her. She finally said to me “Whitney, she is fine. She is a baby. Babies poop and they change everyday. But don’t worry, God’s got this.” And she was right. God did have this. My worry and stress added nothing to my relationship with my daughter. It only took away from enjoying each and every moment from those first couple of months of her life. And most importantly it took away from my relationship with God. I doubted who God says He is. 

Think about all that God has done for mothers. First of all, he created mothers and the gift of motherhood. But remember also all He has done for the mothers of old: Sarah, barren for many years then by God’s power given a son; Leah, barren and unloved in many ways but then God gives her a son and that linage grows to Jesus; Mary, an unworthy young woman gifted by God to be the mother of Jesus. The list would go on and on, but what remains the same is God’s love and care for mothers and their children. Why would anything be different for me? After all, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

Ladies, motherhood is hard. There is no doubt about that. I am only at the beginning of this journey and can tell the road ahead will not be easy. It is full of bumps, potholes, windy curves, and forks in the road. You can choose to take the road paved with fear and anxiety, doubting God the whole way through, or you can choose to take the road marked with faith and trust in the Lord. He truly does know what’s best for our children. By choosing the road marked with faith and trust we as mothers can live freely in the peace that God provides. 

We won’t always make the right choice and take the right road but how we live in motherhood can be one of the most sanctifying experiences. God has chosen you to be a mother. Use this job He has entrusted you with to glorify Him in every way you can. And in those hard moments of fear and doubt, maybe you’re there now, be reminded of who God says He is and pray as the mothers of old did. 

God is:

Sovereign- Isaiah 46:9-10- “ remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’

God, there is no other, there is none like you. You know the beginning and end of my days and the beginning and end of my children’s days. You will accomplish your purposes in our life.

Infinite- “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” – Colossians 1:17

Lord you are before all things. You are greater than my fear in motherhood. 

Immutable- “ Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

O God, you don’t change. You were faithful to the mothers of old and your faithfulness has not stopped for us as mothers today. Build our trust in your never-changing faithfulness to know what’s best  for our families. 

Self Sufficient- “ And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

You O Lord have supplied every need for my child. You knit them in my womb and have created them in your image. Please God help me to cling to you for our every need.  

Incomprehensible- “Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is  unsearchable.” Psalm 145:3

God your ways are above my ways and thoughts as a mother. I pray Lord, that you are glorified and honored through my parenting and caring of my child. 

Self- Existent- “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”Revelation 4:11

Lord build my trust and faith in you, who is the creator and Father of all, yet you yourself were not created. God it is by your will that I am here and a mother to this child. Help me Lord to build my trust. 

Eternal- “ “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.” Revelation 1:8

God, you not only know the beginning and end of this day but you know the beginning and end of my child’s life. Help me to trust in your will for their life, knowing that you are a good and gracious Father. 

Omnipresent- “Am I a God at hand, declares the LORD, and not a God far away? 24 qCan a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the LORD. rDo I not fill heaven and earth? declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 23:23-24

Father God, you see the mother I am at my worst. Ridden with fear, anxiety, and worry that you are not going to care for my child in the way I see fit. God forgive me for those thoughts that run rampant through my mind.

Omniscient- “ Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.” Psalm 147:5

Lord your will for my family is greater than my will. Help me to yield to it.

Omnipotent- “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27 

Lord, the fear, the anxiety and the worry I am experiencing as a mother is not impossible to overcome. Lord with YOU I have hope. 

So maybe you are feeling trapped under the weight of your fear, or feeling as if God doesn’t hold all the cards or knows what’s best for your child. We can easily get consumed with this earthly perspective that will only push us deeper into the hole of fear until that fear grows roots of anxiety, worry, discontentment, and ultimately a lack of faith in our big God. But as Christians we are called to have an eternal perspective, always looking to our creator for hope. Let these verses encourage you as a reminder of who God says He is because in Him there is no fear, only hope.